Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Ministerial Dickhead Of The Week: Part One

This is a new feature I’ve added for the exclusive reading pleasure of Insolent Prick followers. Every week I am going to randomly select one of the many stupid statements issued by Government Ministers, and coin that person Ministerial Dickhead of the Week. Judgement will be tough and severe, and no further correspondence will be entered into, with respect to the results. For those Ministers who feature frequently in this section, I will not be accepting their votes against other Ministers.

Alas, this week I have assembled a range of absurd press releases by Government Ministers, and I inadvertently withdrew two statements from the pile. So many stupid words were uttered by the Government that I struggled to separate them all from each other. So this week, I announce that the Ministerial Dickhead Of The Week is…

A DEAD HEAT!

In first place, we have Steve Maharey, who challenges Wayne Mapp to explain his portfolio title of National’s Spokesman for the Eradication of Political Correctness. Maharey notes that Mapp has a “light portfolio load”, and wants National to justify what else he is doing. This from a Government that has five Ministers outside Cabinet with no direct portfolio responsibilities, and two Cabinet Ministers with the negligible roles, respectively, of Building Issues and Statistics, and Customs and Youth Affairs.

Really, Mr Maharey. With the current state of the education system, and the fact that you’re new to your role, aren’t there more important things for you to be talking about?

And tied for first place, we have Jim Anderton.* Jim Anderton criticizes National for placing Agriculture so low among its spokesmanships (number ten). This, despite the fact that with the departure of Jim Sutton, Labour will have no farmers in Cabinet, whereas National has nine farmers in its top twenty.

Oh, and Mr Anderton: isn’t it YOUR government that has placed Foreign Affairs outside of the Cabinet, and by Winston’s reckoning, outside of the GOVERNMENT?

Haven't you fuckers got anything better to do? Like come to grips with your new portfolios?

*Hard to predict these things, but I suspect he is likely to feature often as Ministerial Dickhead Of The Week.

6 comments:

Dave said...

IP thats a great idea, I have been thinking of something similar, except not restricting it to ministers, just having them regularly featured. Or having miniserial liar of the week. It's just that if only ministers are featured, surely Maharey, Benson Pope and Ruth DICson will be featured every month, they`re such dickheads, and Cullen, Clark and Maharey are the liars.

sagenz said...

Maharey will consistently win it. he is such a feckin plonker.
at least jim was trying to help even if doing it in a misguided way.

Anonymous said...

This website is sh ite. Are you an Odgers wannabee?

Insolent Prick said...

Anonymous,

I would have thought, that after your boyfriend's shocking show for the Labour Party in Pakuranga, that you might still be in hiding.

Here's some pertinent advice for you to follow: if you're going to troll my blog, at least come up with amusing trolls. Otherwise, go guck yourself.

Anonymous said...

I believe in Banks Peninsula Ruth is fondly known as Ruth Dyke-son, as she might be straight but she looks pretty fucking butch.

JC

Spirit Of 76 said...

IP, perhaps you should expand on this idea and hold regular awards, say, something along the line of the McCully Annual Awards. We can elect, Dork Of the Week, Media Quisling Of The Week and, the award for outstanding service to the Sisterhood. My nominees this week are:

Dork Of The Week - John Minto

Media Quisling Of The Week - Chris Harrington

Sisterhood Service Award - Greg Stephens