Monday, December 05, 2005

Solution to Cricket Hooliganism: Number 1939

I am New Zealand cricket's number one fan. I will never allow an ill word to be said about any of the players, coaches, support staff, or administration, past, present, and future. Cricket is the game of the Gods, and all those who play and spectate are worthy of a place in Heaven. Even the non-Catholics.

Which is why I am surprised at recent reports of ill-mannered behaviour at Eden Park on Saturday.

There is a simple solution to New Zealand Cricket's crowd control problems. It is not in enforcing tighter security. It is not in serving all the booze in plastic cups, or reducing alcohol consumption at the ground.

Cricket crowds do not behave badly. There are no cricket hooligans. There are merely supportive supporters, who are doing their best to even the playing field. The answer to New Zealand cricket's crowd control problems lies among the players themselves:

STOP PLAYING LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKING GIRLS, AND THEN THE CROWD WON'T HAVE TO HELP YOU!

9 comments:

t selwyn said...

As someone who was at that match I totally concur with your analysis.

Spirit Of 76 said...

Amen

Anonymous said...

Agree 100% - if the Oz team had played that bad they would of had to assume false identities before being allowed back into Australia.

Go the rain in Wgtn - it will save us from another humilation.

liberty through profit said...

why not just put up some netting? the bottles and fruit won't go thru it if the holes are small enough. It wouldn't cost that much and they would be able to sell the front rows still.
Can't do much about coins, but if you are such an asshole that would throw such objects, then you probably think Helen is a god leader.
Perhaps the players need to be paid for performance only. Say $500 a wicket, $1000 for a catch (wicket keeper 500) and $20 for every run they score. They could also get win bonuses, and stupidity penalties for run outs and misfields.

Cathy Odgers said...

I actually have blogged my feelings lyrically on the BC.

You can find it at: http://cathyodgers.blogspot.com/2005/12/hard-to-be-fan.html

Insolent Prick said...

Cathy,

Where do you get these brilliant ideas from, to link to your post on my blog?

Cathy Odgers said...

Dave Farrar.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the solid first 4 months of your blog in which you constantly linked to it through mine.

Neil said...

IP - your inspirational post lifted the team to great heights.

But they still lost.

You prick.

Insolent Prick said...

It was a brilliant game.

A loss is still a loss, but they didn't play like girls.