Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Saving the Church

I had the strange experience of sitting next to a retiring left-wing Auckland local body politician on a plane over the weekend. Her day job was a “landscape architect”. Some of the highlights of the conversation:

IP: Oh, so at which university did you do your architecture degree?

LWALBP: I didn’t do an architecture degree.

IP: Oh, right. So what does a landscape architect do? Are you like a gardener?

LWALBP: No.

IP: So you don’t dig holes and move soil around and plant trees?

LWALBP: (Mindless, incomprehensible babble proceeds)


Then this ripper:


IP: So, given that you’re retiring, what has been the highlight of your years of local government experience? What’s been your greatest achievement?

LWALBP: I was instrumental in saving the Methodist Church in Mount Eden.

IP: Oh, great. Why did it need saving?

LWALBP: Because the Methodist Church was going to sell it.

IP: Why were they going to sell it?

LWALBP: Because people weren’t going to church services anymore.

IP: Oh, right. So you got more people to go along to Church?

LWALBP: No, I secured council money to get a fundraising campaign, and got some money from Council to help keep the Church going.

IP: Why did you want the Methodist Church to keep going in Mount Eden?

LWALBP: Because it’s a pretty building, and people should be able to sit in their cafes and look at it while having their coffee.

22 comments:

The Perfect Man said...

Dead in the water like most Methodist duckies.
The reason no-one attends is because they preach a non-gospel. Everyone is good and so all will be saved. The logical outcome of believing that is that, in the end, there is no point going along if you can think of better things to do with your time. So liberal churches the western world over are in decline and there assets are being sold off.
This is also a very big reason why liberals are desperate to keep churches from splitting over issues the liberal promote (eg the Presbyterians homosexual pastors debate). Liberals know that if the church split the money would dry up as its the conservatives who fund these churches.

Blair said...

Far from being the perfect man, he missed the entire point of the post.

Your story in itself sums up why I am standing for Council. It seems like every damned decision and bureaucratic Gordian knot devised is for the sole benefit of those who like a decent view while drinking their coffee. Meanwhile, lives are ruined and carefully made investments are flushed down the toilet on account of these latte-sipping chardonnay socialists and their NIMBY supporters.

My opponent seems hugely proud of the fact that she is opposing a 24 hour McDonalds being built in Balmoral. What an absolute CUNT. McDonalds restaurants are franchise operations. Behind her shitty petty bourgeoise sense of aesthetics is a businessman who has sunk thousands of dollars of his own money into a development that he may never see eventuate on her account.

Then these same people have the gall to talk about Roger Douglas ruining lives. Fuck them.

kisekiman said...

Ah yes another hard working representative of the people. Personally I'm for the demolition of all churches, they make me want to puke my frappuchino all over my turtle neck sweater.

Mrs Smith said...

"...people should be able to sit in their cafes and look at it while having their coffee." Dear god. It's a church, not a mountain range. And a Methodist church! Ugh.

Sus said...

Silly bitch should be made to attend the services.

Call it an authoritarian eye-for-an-eye!

PaulL said...

Bah. If they had sold it, would it have been knocked down, or would it have been bought by someone who would turn it into a cafe of its own, so then you could sit outside the lovely church drinking your latte?

Like the idiots who wanted the govt to buy Air NZ. What, they thought the planes would stop flying if it went bankrupt? Not bloody likely, we just bailed out the shareholders. Singapore were quite happy to buy it and keep flying under the Air NZ brand. Would have done a better job too. "Govt subsidy to the rich" doesn't go down quite as well as "Govt saves national airline."

Seamonkey Madness said...

Landscape architects are a lot like a corpulent German.

All full of hot air and waffle.

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Anonymous said...

Fucker needs a bullet.

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Barnsley Bill said...

Ip, you have got your very own Troll farm!
The councillor conversation is a parody surely? Tell me you were just trying to help us understand all that is wrong with NZ. Because expand that issue all the way to the top and you can quite clearly see why this place is now completely and utterly fucked.

Insolent Prick said...

Not a parody at all, bill. That discussion actually took place.

Anonymous comments are excessive. Duly moderating from comments until this pissant buggers off.

Murray said...

Thats a very scarey illustration of what is so desperately wrong with this country.

The strong have protected the weak too well and they've taken over.

Rebel Heart said...

oi Methodist Churches are fucking good, especially since they help the poor so much

they're fucking smart if they know how to screw the ratepayers over even if they're running a piece of shit operation at the moment, credit where credit is due